Two flew over the Cuckoo's Den!

Today was a special day. I managed to visit one of the best known cafes of Lahore named Cuckoo's Den. The cafe is owned by Mr. Iqbal Hussain, an artist by profession, born to a prostitute mother in the vicinity of infamous Red Light area of Lahore.(The good thing about this fact is that Mr Hussain faces this issue head on and doesn't shy away from it. A quality that I really used to admire before my visit). For years I have heard many things about the glorious and sublime ambiance of the cafe which is surrounded by Badshahi Mosque on one side and Lahore Fort on the other. To be honest, I had been trying to visit that place for ages in the past but never got a chance to go there. Finally, I along with a dear friend of mine managed to visit it. What followed was a series of misfortune events.

It was Eid Night and much like the Old Nawabi kids of Mughal era both of us were expecting some sort of cultural activity (Ghazal night or something of that sort) there. However, when I parked my car outside the cafe, the very first thing that struck me was the 17th century building of the cafe signifying the spirit of inner Lahore. Apart from the architect nothing really attracted my attention. Not even the next door brothel. We were welcomed by a middle aged uncle who showed us the way to the top of the cafe. The five story building is nothing short of a museum. We had to walk up stairs all the way. On the very first floor I encountered Shri Ganesh's statue giving the appearance of a medieval Hindu temple. Artistic! very atristic! I thought to myself while appreciating the cultural taste of Mr Hussain. On my way up, I was welcomed by Mother Mary, Jesus and finally Buddha on each floor respectively. For a moment I thought that the customers were made to believe that they were on a Dante Style heavenly journey rather than a visit to an ordinary cafe.

Finally we were on the roof top. Before us stood the Badshahi Mosque with all its glory. The mesmerizing and awe inspiring ambiance of the cafe made me and my friend convinced about the artistic genuineness of Mr. Hussain. The first few moments on the top were just amazing. But as Frost said 'Nothing gold can stay'. Our enthusiasm and fascination proved to be short lived. My friend was about to tell me the dynamics of the inner walled city when the waiter standing next made us realize that we were supposed to order something. So, very gently the menu was presented to us. . What followed is the real purpose for which I am writing this long blog entry.

We ordered one plate of regular Biryani, one Qeemay wala naan along with Raita and two regular cold drinks. The price of the items gave me and my friend goosebumps. They were charging 100 rupees for regular coke. Rupees 450 for Biryani and Rupees 200 only for Raita. Not to forget 150 Rupees for Naan. Good heavens! I thought to myself. Artists are famous for austerity but I never knew that their austerity doesn't extend to their customers. My table was surrounded by the statues of Buddha and Jesus. Ironically, two saintly figures signifying monkish life style. I felt them laughing at us; as if they were saying that we admirers of culture and art deserve this fate. Remaining sanguine, I reassured my disillusioned friend that may be the food will compensate the value for money. However, when the food eventually arrived I was made to pay heavily (not only financially) for my reckless optimism. The Biryani tasted as if it were picked up from the next door Langar. The food and price made us forget everything. Me and my friend were in a conundrum. We couldn't made up our mind as to what was more difficult a task. Paying our bill or eating our meal. Unfortunately, we had to eat and we had to pay. We were left with no other option. My disillusioned friend asked me why Mr. Hussain was doing this injustice to his admirers and customers. I replied sarcastically that the idea is to take revenge from the very society that has inflicted injustices on Mr. Hussan as a kid. My friend came up with an even nastier theory. He speculated that the area has its history of mugging people for money , perhaps the means are changed now but intent is the same.

Perhaps the truth is something else. Here was a man known for promoting a cultural and liberal identity as a true pakistani artist. Like many Pakistani artists before; he proved himself to be another phony. The road to culture and art is paved with greedy intentions. With that we paid our bill and two of us flew over the Cuckoo's Den. Never to return again to this so called cultural citadel.