Saturday, March 10, 2012

Chaos within, Chaos without!

It is 11 March 2012. Here I am wasting my time on my blog. As I compose this post of mine, I don't exactly know for what purpose I am writing it. Neither do I know where exactly my current flow of thought will lead me. Complete uncertainty surrounds life at times. May be its one of those days for me too. This is not the first time I am encountering such a state of affairs. In fact it has become quite a routine now. What is happening to me? I don't know. How do I feel? I don't know again. Nevertheless, whatever it is, its not a pleasant state of mind .

I think there is certainly something wrong with me. May be I think too much. May be I like to think of myself as a thinking man when in reality I may not be such a person. Sometimes I think I need to indulge myself in some work or keep myself busy to avoid thinking. But then I will only be able to indulge myself in some work when I will actually stop thinking. What should I do? Where should I go? I know not. Is this a punishment or a reward? I know not.

I am not a human being. Perhaps, I am nobody. Frustration, resentment and self-destruction defines me. May be life is manifesting its dark side in me. Light serves no purpose when one is blind. Eyes are of no value when there is complete darkness. My life lacks light and today I feel completely blind too. Imagine how terrible one's life would be when absurd claims like these make more sense to oneself than one's very own ordinary daily life.

My mind speaks to me. It lacks direction but still forces me to keep on moving despite being cognizant of being lost. Alas! its time to come to terms with my ultimate fate. My life is nothing but chaos within and chaos without.








3 comments:

Maryam said...

I can sync with this. But this is a very depressing post. Your blog should cheer people up, i think :)

Qasim Aziz said...

I seriously hope that you don't end up being like me :p
And my blog is depressing. This is not the first time I have come across this observation. But that doesn't mean I am miserable. These days I laugh at those who think they are happy, that is my deviant way of stealing my happiness :-)

Maryam said...

LOOL this was way too funny!

I didn't mean that your blog is depressing, just this one post :)

I like the blog background and the new blog theme.